Discipline Woes

Every child responds at least some kind of discipline, right? My daddy whipped me with a belt when I transgressed and I did not cross the man lightly. I pretty much stayed in line (at least publicly) until I was old enough to outrun the old man. Jack fears no hand, belt, time-out, warning, threat, grounding, etc. I am not going to spank him hard enough to really hurt him but I don't think it would do any good anyway! At this point, I find myself halfway admiring his moxie when I pop his booty and he pops my booty back and says sternly "Now I have spanked you too, Mommy." What the heck? Who does that?! My kid does. Time-outs work to an extent but he wails and screams at the top of his lungs so loudly that we can't use them in public or in the hotel we are living in until July 12! People would think we are murdering him in most foul ways just because we make him sit still for 5 minutes and send the German police to arrest us for child abuse. SO frustrating!

When he gets mad at us, he says "My only family I love IS GRANDMAMA!!". You know why? Because Grandmama give him everything he could possibly want. She is cackling with glee as she reads this, I just know it. And somewhere beyond this world, my own Grandmother Wanda is laughing too.

I absolutely love Germany. I never thought that I would ever see the things I am seeing. It is an incredible adventure but OH MY GOSH I am tired of living in a hotel! Today was the 26th day of hotel-living and we have another 16 days left to go. That is.....a lot of hotel living. I can't complain too hard-core because we are moving into a gorgeous house at the end of that wait. And I am really just thrilled to be missing the Arkansas summer. The high here tomorrow is 68...  Anyway, hotel living has turned my little boy into a wild Indian (feather, not dot). He runs, jumps, runs, jumps, rolls, climbs, jumps, runs, dodges and runs....EVERYWHERE. He is just so darn happy to be out of the little room when we go to wide open places like the BX that he just loses his mind and takes off running. He led Garry on a merry chase through the BX food court for about 10 minutes, laughing and running as fast as his legs could go, much to the amusement of everyone who saw it. Tables full of people were laughing their heads off, watching Jack evade Garry and it was so funny! Finally, he ran right at me and I caught him but it was hilarious while it lasted (even though I don't think Garry would agree).

Here he is pulling his shirt over his head to use as a parachute as he leaps off of the bed:

And here he is with his father, who let him eat an entire jar of pickles. Yes...an entire jar. *facepalm*

He got a haircut today at the BX and asked the German stylist if she was going to "cut his squirrels". Poor lady looked so confused! We call his two massive cowlicks squirrels because an old barber once said that it looked like squirrels were fighting on the back of his head, haha!

Before:

After:

Ooh he is handsome! His new thing is saying "whatever" but not in a disrespectful way or anything. It is more of a verbal shrug, if that makes any sense.

Me: "Jackson, lets go upstairs and cook some food in the microwave."

Jackson: "Okay, whatever."

Me: "Jackson, you are not supposed to be jumping on the bed."

Jack: "Yes, okay, whatever"

He just fell between the bed and the wall by rolling off of the bed....

Me: "Oh crap Jackson! Are you okay?"

Jack: *gets back on bed and keeps playing iPad* "whatever..."

He is so cute but he makes me tired, lol. He just said that "Chak-Park the Bad Word Sayer lives in evil Texas." I am not sure what that means but he is watching YouTube on his iPad and he knows not to watch videos with bad words.

In the famous words of Jackson:  "Whatever."

Castle Blog, Instagram-Style

We have been in Germany for two weeks as of yesterday and we had STILL not been to a single castle, which I am pretty sure is some kind of crime, so we took off to the Burg Lichtenberg in Thallictenberg near Kusel for the Medieval Market! Oh my gosh, it is an actual real castle, built around 1200 and owned by the counts of Veldenz until about 1444. It is just incredible! As soon as we walked in, Jack HAD to have a viking hat and a sword and he really got into the spirit of things!

Let me tell you: that child is ready to plunder and pillage. There was an awesome Scottish band playing and they were pretty wild. A couple of them were absolutely shittered but they played amazing and were really funny. Jack LOVED it!

The castle grounds were just absolutely beautiful and the ruins were really incredible. It is hard to wrap your mind around how old it is. We climbed up to the tallest tower...and climbed...and climbed...and c l i m b e d and finally got to the top and the view was just really lovely.

In the photo above, that is how low the windows were and there were no safetly rails! It was kind of scary because the cold wind was whipping around in there and you felt like you could fly right out but it also felt so good! Garry and Jack even got to try on some knight gear.

Jack got hungry, so we sat down and ate some bratwurst on crustry bread and drank some Fanta. People here really love their Fanta for sure. They gave us glass mugs and charged and extra 2 Euro that we got back when we brought the mugs back, which is a great idea! It really cut down on the trash. We were ate under some kind of wild cherry tree and Jack thought that the little cherries were cool. He really wanted to eat one but I didn't think that would be a good idea.

It was just a great time and the weather was perfect. Jackson got his awesome hat and sword, Garry bought a leather purse for himself (hahahahaha!) and a glass inkwell and pen and I got a wooden pig. Don't hate on my wooden pig...it is super-cool. It is hard to remember that dollars and Euros are NOT created equal but we came out pretty good in the end. There were so many craftsmen there: swordsmiths, blacksmiths, archers, leather-making-guys, jewelers, etc.

There was even someone making REAL cotton candy. It was the best cotton candy I ever had and Garry ate about 5 apple doughnut things too.

So, it was pretty much the best day ever. Jack was SO good! He passed out in the back seat on the way home with a sugar-sticky face.  Oh I forgot! I also got a car!

BAM!!!!

It is not this exact car but the colors are the same. The headlights are different and the wheels are different too and mine has a moonroof! OOoOooooOohhh fancy! :D

And for anyone wondering why all of my photos are from the iPhone, I am still working on getting a stupid camera battery charger that works over here. Grrrrrrrr.

Freaky-Deeky, Scary, Over-The-Clouds Plane Blog. AHHHHHHH!!!

I am happy to be alive and well currently. My cats seem content, Garry is sleeping and Jack is on his iPad. I haven't cried or puked....yet. So, let's rehash our Texas journey since I am all up in the air and stuff. Two hours left in this flight. Goodbye Deep South -- I will see ya later. :)

We left Little Rock Air Force base yesterday right before noon and it was kind of sad. LRAFB has been good to us, you know? I have met some great friends and gotten awesome help for Jack's Asperger/ADHD and we really liked it there.


Okay! So, Texas is super Texas-y! I have never been there before and I was totally expecting it to be full of BIG Texas flags and BIG expensive ranches and those cow-skull things that some people hang on the wall or over doors for some unknown reason (except they aren't really cows and I am not sure what they are. Rams or some type of sheep? Do they have them in Texas? Huh..maybe it really is a cow.) Okay anyway, I expected all of that and I was totally not disappointed!!!! It looked just like I imagined! My head was turning left and right and I even saw and honest to God vulture sitting on a fencepost, looking for all the world like he belonged there! Here are some photos from the start of the trip: (Photos to come later when we are somewhere with faster internet! It is SOOOOOOOO slow here!)

It was all nice and stuff but about an hour from Dallas, the shit hit the fan (pardon my French)!!  The freaking storm of the century popped up during Dallas rush hour traffic and we had to white-knuckle it all of the way to our hotel. The wind was whipping us all over the road! As I sit here, kinda freaked out on the plane, I have to admit that the drive during that storm was pretty scary. And you know I am for-real when I say that when I am sitting on a plane. Oh man....it is being kind of bumpy and stuff. That is pretty uncool and gah it look creepy outside. Oops...sidetracked. I took some storm photos but only because I was driving so slowly. Don't judge me!!!  :)  (No photos....waiting for faster internet)

So, knowing what an observant group of folks my audience is, I don't have to reiterate that I am not fond of flying. As a matter of fact, I have had some pretty gnarly dreams about flying lately which I will NOT even think about at this current point in time but last night, I had kind of a funny dream. I dreamed that I was all scared taking off but then everyone on the plane decided to have a big dance party! I watched "So You Think You Can Dance" before I went to sleep and I guess that is why my moves were so impressive. You know, that would be great. How cool would it be to have an airline just for people scared of flying and it could have massages and dance parties and fun activities...maybe team sports or something. An hour and fifteen minutes left in the flight. Whew!

(PS. We survived the flight. Duh.)

Chak-Park, The Bad-Word Sayer

So, Jack has decided to pretend that he is scared of the dark so that he doesn't have to go to sleep. He fussed and fussed about going to sleep and said that there is a MONSTER living in our hotel room! I always love hearing his imagination at work, so I decided to ask him some questions.

Me: What color is the monster?
Jack: Purple!
Me: What color are the monster's teeth?
Jack: White!
Me: What color are the monster's eyes?
Jack: Scary color! The teeth are scary teeth too!
Me: Does the monster have long hair, like a kitty?
Jack: Yes! It is a scary kitty monster!
Me: What is the monster's name?
Jack: *thinks for a few seconds* CHAK-PARK, THE BAD WORD SAYER!

Lol! Isn't it funny that the worst thing he can possibly think of is to say "bad words"? I love how innocent that is. We passed a police man who was arresting two people on the side of the road today and Jack got so excited.

Jack: Oh Mommy, Mommy! That police man is arresting those people!
Me: Oh no! What do you think they did?
Jack: They must have said at least a thousands of bad words!

He is a trip! I love the funny things he says. We were watching the Queen's Diamond Jubilee today while we waited for my medicine at the air force base clinic and I told Jack that the Queen was about to come out on the balcony and wave to people.

Me: It is a real queen, Jacky!
Jack: Oh wow! A real queen in real life!
*Queen walks out on the balcony dressed in a cute old lady outfit and hat*
Jack: Uh...that isn't a queen.
Me: Sure she is! She is the Queen of England.
Jack: Noooooo, she is not a queen. She is a magician!!! Look at her magician hat and clothes!
Me: No baby...that is the queen. Look at her up there with those men. They are princes!
Jack: Why are those princes up there with the magician?
Me: That isn't a magician. It is the queen.
Jack: No, that is a magician.

Oh he makes me laugh!

It has been a rough few days here. Nothing about the move has been going well, ESPECIALLY the cats' health certificates. *WARNING, BAD WORDS AHEAD* Anyhoo, the vet who was supposed to do his job and get their certificates was a giant asshole and didn't do his job and they missed some deadlines. We ended up getting it fixed but it got REALLY complicated and expensive in the bargain. We spent like $1000 on the cats. Seriously. I had 3 major meltdowns today, worse that I have had in years and years. It was just about the worst day of my life so far because the vet that we went to to fix everything messed it up worse and I frantically had to call around Little Rock to find someone who knew how to do an international health certificate. I drove all of the way out to Cantrell Road to a vet who filled everything out and then rushed it to the USDA office at closing....and it wasn't correct AGAIN! At this point, I had been dealing with the vet stuff for NINE straight hours and I melted down pretty bad. I don't do that often but this is serious business and we have such limited time. I had to drive all the way back out to Cantrell Road and it took her over an hour to fix it. We are supposed to leave Arkansas in the morning and I still don't have the cat's health certificates from the USDA office here and one of the vets put Miss Junebug's age down as three weeks. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!?!? I know the exact day she was born on and it is on all of her paperwork! June 1, 2005, which makes her 7 years old. There is no excuse for all of this. I don't understand why people refuse to do their jobs. Needless to say, I have had some pretty severe anxiety from all of this and I would love to take a lovely Xanex and block some of it out so that I can sleep....except the base med clinic refuses to get back to me on my flying/anxiety meds and so I will have none. So, yay! I get to face one of my worst fears twice in one day with 2 cats and an autistic 5 year old who is already upset about the move. This has all been one giant "vent" but I am seriously afraid that I am going to stroke out before we make it there.

So..............

If you read that giant block of text just now, you are a better person than me because I can't even proofread it. It makes me to nervous and angry to read it all over again. Right now, I am just taking it one step at a time. Tomorrow, I get to have my kitties back with me and they can be out of their kennels and can spend time with me again and I am SO happy about that! I get to go to Texas...meh. I kind of wish I had just gotten in the car to drive to Maryland so that I only have one flight to dread. At this point, I am just praying that we get to the hotel in Germany safely with our furbabies and I quit having shooting pains in my head and muscle spasms in my chest (like a charlie horse in your calf...except in your pectoral muscle).  :/

Last River Market Saturday

Today we had to rush our kitties down to Jacksonville Animal Hospital for boarding because our new tenants are moving into the house. We didn't realize that they closed at noon and we barely made it there in time and I had to run out of the house looking like a crazy person. So of course my husband determines that it was a good time to head downtown without giving me a chance to brush my hair (and teeth, ew) and put on a shirt that wasn't covered in cat-panic shedding. (Side note: it is funny how hard I had to fight with Critterbug to get him in his carrier and then Miss Junebug walks right in with no fuss.)  Anyway, we ended up having fun! I was so sad that I didn't have my camera but Garry's iPhone would do, in a pinch.

Jack got to ride up high on Daddy's shoulders (so that he wouldn't run away, haha).

We bought some kettle corn for Jack and he toted it everywhere. He even got mad when I fed a few pieces to the birds. He wasn't inclined to share with us either!

His Grandpa bought some blackberries and Jack wasn't too impressed! Some of them were pretty unripe and bitter and I think he got a few bad ones. Ooh he made some yucky faces!

Oh my gosh, I took this photo in July of 2009 and had to kind of re-create it before we left. I am going to try to get back down there tomorrow to do it again with my real camera but since I don't have my own car, I don't always get a vote. Oh my gosh, look how much he has grown! It doesn't seem possible that he has grown that much in not even 3 years!  D:

The guys decided to chill for a minute. Jack jealously guarded his popcorn. :)

Then we went to eat at the Fly-In-Fish! It is a great little fish/shrimp/chicken place in Little Rock. Jack was positively thrilled with the little boat that his kids meal came in and he actually ate all of his food for a change. I got a Po Boy and it was awesome! I wish we had time to go back before we leave.

We happened to find a homemade popscicle place inside the River Market building and the men pounced right on that! They had different flavors than usual. Jack had plain Strawberry, Garry had plain Strawberry, Root Beer, Jalapeno-Cilantro and Grapefruit-Mint (yes, four popscicles!) and Grandpa had 2 Peanut Butter pops. I had REAL ice cream. I win. Oh wait...Jack had a popscicle AND ice cream...I guess he wins.

I love walking around and discovering places where Jack has been playing with his cars and toys. It makes even our hotel room feel like home. :)

Playing with his iPad while sitting on the blow-up bed.

And he played outside for three and a half hours with some new friends! It was so funny to see them all interacting and running around. The other boy's mom looked a lot like my mom and Jack ran up to her saying "Grandmama!! Grandmama!!" and when he got close, he realised that it wasn't her and his feelings were hurt pretty bad. It was so sad!

We ended up calling my mom on Skype and she read a book to Jack. I LOVED watching his facial expressions while she was reading!

And he wore Grandpa's glasses. :D